Thursday, July 29, 2004

prof TTN & PJs

At IIT Madras we all met this Prof who would crack jokes at anything from crows to cricket to trees to what ever....
Once while taking attendence he suddenly stops at Roll 28... Roll 29 is Mr.Rohit Morde... He asks the class "What is the opposite of less-night? " Ans: More-Day (Rohit Morde) and starts taking attendence again....
He stands infront of Michael ( again one of my class mates and says) " If I stand infront of him and whisper, everyone would still be able to hear what I am saying , HOW??" Ans: because he is MIC (microphone.. and we used to call Michael, Mike or Mic)
Phew..... some of them were just too much.... He sent a mail some time back and we all loved it here it is....
milking the cow.......

You have two cows. You dont milk them. You worship them.

You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.

You have two cows. You teach them to cry, "Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.

You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

You have two cows. You distribute the milk among your partners and eat cattlefeed.

You have two cows. But you milk your neighbours' cows.

You have two cows. You convert them into biological weapons.

You have two cows. You put them in purdah.

You have two cows. You dont milk them; you only lecture to them.

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them
1 First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2 Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3 Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4 Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5 Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7 You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)
8 Redo step 4
9 At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10 Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)
11. O! nsite reports that it is not milking there.
13. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
14. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
15. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
16. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
17. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
18. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
19. Client is happy..
By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk.
cheers....... prof TTN (by the way he  is Dr. T.T.Narendran and is God in Operations Management )


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