Thursday, August 31, 2006

New ADIDAS Showroom

There is this new Adidas showroom which has opened up in T Nagar near GRT Grand. Me and Kini went there to check out some sneekers. Its the second biggest showroom in Asia Pacific Region. Well its different. Simply because they tell you which shoe you should buy. Technology I say.

Ok "The Funda". They make you walk normally, like you are having a casual walk in the garden types. Then they ask you to put your right foot first on a sensor plate. They map out where you are putting more pressure on your foot. Similarly they ask you to put your left foot and then they again map the pressure areas. Like, is it the sole or the front part of the foot which needs more support and cusion.

All that fundas for free and then they ask you to check out some shoes. Costly ones ok??? The sales guys havent asked the budget yet. Smart asses I say what.

The sensor plate

Maping of the foot

The pressure areas are shown here.
They photos were taken by the camera in my phone, so didnt come that great.

There was this sales guy Wasim. Bloody what stud guy he is. He was with us all the time and was asking me "Sirji aap Punjab se ho? Sir Ji aap bhi kuch le lo. Bahut badhiya samaan hai. Sirji shoes hain toh fir t-shirt le lo. Sirji sweat shirt le lo"

Bloody stud only.

Kini Bola, "Sala bahut aage jayega yeh aadmi." Sometimes Kini thinks he is someone like Dabur Seth in Deevar. Worsht!!!

Had a nice time. If you get a chance please do pay a to visit this place. Its a different experience. Its like my girl friend telling me what I should to wear or not wear and what I will look good in. ;-)

Ultimately Kini said,"Because of the shop I spent the double of what I had planned to spend before entering."



Some Silly Sardar Jokes

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Manager asked to sardar at an interview : Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife, "Do I look like a foreigner?"
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi".

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk. Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf".

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted mirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive".

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar: It is simple. I will stop my imagination!!!


Sunday, August 27, 2006

Kerala is Beautiful

Believe me people, Kerala is beautiful. Above all its clean. One feature of every Mallu, they know they have a very strong accent and they really really don't mind repeating what ever you ask them.
My client : We need to fix this problem before we star the next assignment.
Me : Sorry sir.
My client : We need to fix this problem before we star the next assignment.
Me : excuse me sir.
My client : We need to fix this problem before we star the next assignment. What to do saar, I am Mallu you are sardar. 2500 kms of communication gap. Ha Ha Ha Ha

They smile man. Anyways check out few of the photos I clicked from my camera phone.

My Client's factory . It was between those hills and looked beautiful. Very very beautiful.

Factory 1

Factory 2

Factory 3

On the way from Hotel to Office I could see these Rubber Plantations

Palm trees is some Mallu house

See the greenery :-)

See See Drain on the side of the road :-)

Going back from client's place to airport :-)

Kerala was different this time, but I saw one more thing, even the Mallu aunties wear loongi like men. That white loongi and not saree. :-) Equality between the sexes :-)



Wednesday, August 23, 2006

To Hell With Cricket !!!

There is this awards thing in sports, which happens in India every year for best performing sportsmen and sportswomen. And suddenly I realized Cricket is not the only sport we play. Great to see that Cricket for a change has taken a back seat or rather I should say other sports are getting recognition.

I feel olympics is the the the most important than anything on the earth when it comes to sports. Can someone tell me why do we play sports like Billiards, Snooker, Cricket, Chess, Kabaddi, Golf, etc etc which are not recognized by the world??? The Chinese have mastered the art of which sport they should participate. They win bloody medals like anything in gymnastics and swimming and long distance athletics. Advani is going great guns in Billiards but does someone recognize the sport in Brazil or Korea??? Its just for people above 90 years.

Come on Government of India invest in a sport where you can say, "We are masters of this sport!!!" One name missing from this list of sportsmen is Adrian D'Souza, Indian hockey goalie.

List of awardees (taken from Hindustan Times):

Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna Award

Pankaj Advani - Billiards & Snooker

Arjuna Award

Tarundeep Rai - Archery
Dola Banerjee - Archery
Manjit Kaur - Athletics
Aparna Popat - Badminton
Anuja Prakash Thakur - Billiards & Snooker
Akhil Kumar - Boxing
Surya Shekhar Ganguly - Chess
Anju Jain - Cricket
Viren Rasquinha - Hockey
Ramesh Kumar - Kabaddi
Gagan Narang - Shooting
Shikha Tandon - Swimming
Soumyadeep Roy - Table Tennis
Sushil Kumar - Wrestling


Sunday, August 20, 2006

Mallus, I am back !!!

Hello Mallus,

I am coming to Cochin again. ;-)

Bloody fools I dare if you make me sick again. Bastards you made me sick and fooking poked needles in my arms and my ass. As if you were dying to look at a sardar ass, but you might not get a chance this time. I am carrying pills with me this time, wont fall sick.

Hey some of you Mallus think, you will say things to me and I will not come to Kerala??? Thrrrrbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrttttttt to you... and also ,,/, to you...

I am going there because it is just another project. I am not , I repeat, I am not interested in the fat females and their facial hair or their big ass or the huge stomach, which was just spilling out of their sarees. I am just going there, completeing a project and coming back. No love and affection. Got it???

No kazambahoooooooooooo or any pork or beef or human meat, just bread and jam and bananas and other fruits. U cant make me sick this time.

And who ever says anything to me, I will throw chillie powder on the hairy face of their girl friends.

Hey seriously you mallus are a hairy race. Looks like God did some practical joke on you, threw all of you in a place which is bloody hot, gave a lot of fat and then lot of hair and then asked you people to say "god's own country!!!" so that you guys dont run away from Kerala. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

chal mallus, see you once I am back !!!



Tuesday, August 15, 2006

No You Are Not Welcome

Fell Sick on the second day of my Kerala Visit had to come back to Chennai. High fever and some shit. Bloody fever crossed 105 deg F. I thought I was dead.
Anyways now fit and fine with huge amount of weakness. Got to go there again to finish the unfinished business.
Few things about Kerala.
  1. It is green
  2. Everyone had a bloody mush. I mean everyone, even the girls.
  3. Everyone is fat.
  4. Gurls are fat, have curly hair, have facial hair, have hair on hands and arms more than the Afghans, eat all the time, don't wear jeans.
  5. You cant say from the menu what you are eating.
  6. You are screwed if you are a vegetarian.
  7. Mallus eat chicken curry with anything. Even with bloody idlli at 7.30 in the morning.
  8. They dont eat sambhar but have something else. Dont know what it is called, I call it Kazambahoo. Looks swahili by the name.
  9. Mosquitoes know you are a bloody non mallu. Carry Odomos with you always.
  10. You start using the word , "excuse me", "sorry", "can you repreat", etc etc again and again. They have an accent so strong you can't understand anything.
  11. They can eat anything and call it as non veg. I saw everything which is eatable on the menu card except "humans"
  12. They eat hot food. Blooooooooooooooooooody spicy food I say.
  13. Carry a bottle of water with you always.
  14. Mallus drink more liquor than an state in India. Congrats mallus, now you are educated drunkards.

Rest after my second trip. I fell sick the second day and I had to rush back to Chennai. Just alive you can say. The mallus must be laughing, "sala sardar aaya tha ek, uski halat kharab kar di aur usko bhaga diya"

You mallus I will be back !!!

Loved the greenery though...



Friday, August 04, 2006

Guys Fundes !!!

After a lot of girl funde here is something about guys funde. Here we go:

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about .

5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow"

10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

11. Guys love their moms.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

18. Guys are very open about themselves.

19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice..very true.

23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

24. Guys keep secrets that girls tell them.

25. Guys think too much.

26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

32. Guys hate girls who overreact.

33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Dear girls, doesn't this all make sense?

Got this as a forward in a mail.



Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Funny Slides

Life is full of ups and downs. Here is a video where people skid from everywhere and anywhere. Chotu sent me the video, just sharing it with everyone.

the video is fun except that I dont want to discuss what would have happened to the guy's bum when he fell on it. ;-)

The football worldcup may be over but the fun is still on.

Just look at the face the lady makes when she gets the red card. "Me??? Me??? How can you give me a red card??" And the guy acting as the refree "I know what you did. Please leave. Please leave. No I am not listening anything. Please leave!!!"

And this shows why someone from some other country other than "France" won the Miss Universe title recently. The football fever is still I say. :-)

Khi Khi Khi Khi



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