Monday, May 28, 2007

Buddhist India

I wish India was a Buddhist country. There was Buddhism in India and then someone thought we should have the "Char Dham" Kedarnath, Badrinath, Jagarnath, etc. Then came the Mughals and converted half the population into Muslims. Then some converted to Jains. Also some Hindus thought we should fight against conversions and Sikhism started. Look in what horrible mess we are today. My forefathers were screwed in the head and they screwed up my generation.

Today the problem India faces is bloody religion. I wish no one was bloody Hindu, or Muslim or Sikh or Christian. There was Buddhism. Bloody one religion. Simple. No one would have time to think what the other person is doing and I have to do it better.

"Aurangzeb - The Ass" had to build a mosque at that very place where Raam was born, in some 17th century?? "L.K.Advani -The Bigger Educated Ass" had to bring down that very mosque, in 1992?? Then we have bomb blasts in Bombay. Thanks to the biggest Ass - Bala Sahib Thakrey we have riots in January 1993. Jai Maharashtra My Ass !!!

Indra Gandhi was killed by a Sardar because Gandhi took the tanks in Golden Temple. Arre if there was only one religion then there wouldn't be the issue of Khalistan and then there wouldn't be any radical Sikh leader. Bhinderwala was a curse on Sikhism I say. Now the sardar killed Mrs. gandhi and we had 1984 riots. 2000 sardars got killed, no one was punished after 23 years. Thats about a quarter century. What a shit country I live in !!!

Today I heard in news there is some temple in Kerala where non Hindus cannot go. And if non Hindus go they have to make the temple pavitr. My question to those sons-of-guns is who are you to decide that I can go where I want to or not??? Ok you decide its your house then why isn't the government taking action against those bloody priests for creating racism???

Now we also have a problem with the bloody babas in India. Chandra Swami, Narayan Swami, No Swami, Yes Swami, Bull Shit Swami, No Bullshit Swami, Blanket Baba, nanga Baba, no Nanga Baba, all kinds of babas. There is one baba dancing naked in Allahbad's 12 year Hindu festival called the Kumbh Mela. No one stops them. If FTv shows naked dance its against our culture!!! Hey I&B Minister "Kiss My Ass" thats your right, I give you the right !!!

Ok back to baba. There is some baba in some bloody city in interior Haryana and he wears a dress looking like the 10th guru of Sikhs. The sikhs feel offended and say he should say sorry and blah blah blah. Riots in Punjab, one person dies, few injured. Listen sardars and the priests of SGPC, there was one lady called Bibi Jagir Kaur, she killed her own daughter, were you not ashamed of her??? How did she become the SGPC head?? And is the 10th guru so small that some baba can look like him?? Bloody half of Punjab drinks every evening because the wives have to serve chicken to their husbands. Did your 10th Guru say get drunk every evening??? almost all of youth in Punjab doesn't follow religion by either cutting their hair or trimming the beard, what happens to you SGPC heads when you find this??? Why don't your say, "Any Sikh boy found cutting his hair or trimming his beard wouldn't be called a sikh!!!"

Thats why I say I wish I was born in a Buddhist India. At least while driving on the road I wouldn't run into Mandirs and Mosques. At least I wouldn't be woken up everyday with a tune I dont like to hear. At least when a road is being constructed, there wouldn't be a Mandir in the middle of it and construction would start only after the case gives an order. At least there wouldn't be politics in the country based on Religion. I hope Buddha is born again and converts every bloody person to Buddhist!!!

Bloody stupid country and stupid religions. And they say , "What protects India is its culture!!!"

Protects or kills??? Change it to : What is killing India, is its Culture!!!!

V..


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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Deepu Ka Result

One of our old photos and one of my favorites, Me and Deepu together in the Man Utd jersey.



Ok the news. Mera Chota Bhai class XII badhiya numbers se paas ho gaya.

Maths : 99
Physics : 96
Chem : 94
Com Sc : 96
English : 91

Soooooooooooooooper!!! You all can congratulate him here. Will surely pass the message.

JEE Results are coming in few days, I hope he gets through. Infact I am sure he will get through. :-) Chakkkkk!!!

V...

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Coolest Shirt !!!

Kini threw a birthday party on saturday and we had to give something cool to our dear friend. Trupti's idea "give him a tantra tshirt or was it my idea? anyways the Tshirt was chosen by Trupti.


Man too bloody much is this Tshirt and Kini was forced to change and wear the T, while we were having our food. Good boy changed and came. Sport he is. He He He He He.

V...

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Saturday, May 19, 2007

Give Up Max - The Boss

There is this new Tamil movie coming in May end. Its called Sivaji - The boss. Firstly Tamilians have no idea of H. The name it Sivaji and when u ask "Hey what is this new Rajni movie??" they say "Its Shivaji" . Boss its Sivaji and not Shivaji. Use the letter H properly. English laguage has 26 and not 25 alphabets. Thanks.

Ok coming to the point, "Why does someone have to look ugly to get noticed?" I mean Rajnikant is not good looking, why does he have a blond wig? And why does this girl who ever she is have a golden hair and has the least amount of clothes? Just because we Indians have this weird thing in our head, which makes us think that the Americans and Europeans make love all the time? So lets ask this girl to have a Blonde wig and less clothes.

Costume designer: What is the girl's dress??
Director: Give her a bra. Go get dressed. Dont button your jacket. Its a costly bra people need to see it.


The question is "Hey director are you BLIND?? Any fool can say this guy who happens to be an actor and people in South India follow him like god (who happens to do a lot for the poor and needy) doesnt look great with the blonde wig!!!"

I have no acting skills or directing ideas, but I can tell that he looks like an idiot in the posters. Now another question "Lets hope (I am just hoping), Rajni with blonde wig is a firangi in the story, HOW THE FOOOOKK CAN HE SPEAK TAMIL???"


Who is this girl??? Why is she not wearing any clothes??? And then if a Tamil Female actor says, "its ok with girls and virginity..... blah... blah... blah..." Why the fook are the Tamilains so pissed??? Why dont they burn down posters of this bra wearing female???



Why is some lawyer in Tamil Nadu putting a petition against Richard Gere & Shilpa Shetty for a peck on the cheek, also against Hritik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai for kissing in Dhoom 2. The question is "Will this stupid lawyer who is so jobless and has so much time to watch Movies and think of such ideas, now file for another public petition shit against this female actress???" I think he wont, because if he does that he would be hurting the feelings of "The Talaiwar" and most of them would burn down the High Court of Madras.

Anyways I hope this bloody film is a bloody flop. And people understand its better they watch meaningful films and the people producing such movies also understand people are not duffers. Its nothing for or against Tamil movies, its like saying, "We the people are intelligent enough not to take bullshit anymore!!! Whether it is blonde or red!!!"

V..

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

BHEJA FRY is a Laugh Riot !!!!

Check this out guys. I am so so happy. Sala ghatiya Indian team and ghatiya governing body should go through this everytime. Infact it would be fun to see if we dont have any sponsors.

Yesterday we went for the movie in the night should and the last comedy movie I had seen was Malamaal Weekly. It was a bad cheap comedy. But Bheja Fry is toooooo good. Man too much movie it is, too bloody much. The cast is Rajat Kapoor (Ranjeet Thadani), Vinay Pathak (Bharat Bhushan), Sarika( Sheetal Agarwal) , Ranvir Shorey(Asif Merchant) and Milind Soman (Anant Ghoshal).

The movie is about Bharat Bhushan who is kind of a scrap goat plan of Ranjeet Thadani. This Ranjeet Thadani and his feiends bring someone every friday night for dinner and make fun of him over few drinks. They make a fool out of the guy without him knowing it.

But this time they are in big trouble when Ranjeet calls Bharat Bushan. This guy is a horrible singer and then he thinks he is not less than the "Taan Sen ka Baap" and his gurus are K L Sehgal to R D Burman to A R Rehman. The best is when Ranjeet calls this guy and the answering machine goes, "Tum ne Pukara Aur hum chale aaye. Beep ke baad message chodo re!!!" Too too country it is.

Bharat Bhushan comes and then Rajeet's wife leaves the house and goes. Bhushan tries to make things ok and they keep on going from bad to worse. Comedy fulltu ekdum. Ranjeet meets Bharat Bhushan and then sits on the peak of irritation mount.

Sheetal Agarwal was Anant Ghoshal's wife and is now Ranjeet Thadani. Bharat Bhushan's wife has also left him and then he tries to compare in what situation Ranjeet Thadani is. Poora bakwas!!!

Cant write dialog by dialog. Please go and watch the movie.

Sarika looks pretty in the movie. Its a short movie for 90 mins.

Tum ne pukara hahahahahahahahahaha !!!

V...

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

OH MY GAWD !!!!!!!


Nahiiiiiiiiiii yeh nahi ho sakta. If one was not enough we now have three Deols together. Dharam Paaji, Sunny Paaji and Bobby Paaji. I mean why??? Was it like "Hey I am not doing anything these days so lets make a moooooooooovie!!!"I have given up on what stupid movies are being made these days.

Himesh Reshamiya making a movie as hero. I hated Himesh so much that he came to know about it and now he is making a movie to get back to me. "Look Mr. Dhokla Reshamiya, get yourself a mirror because you suck."

And now we have Dharmender Singh Deol coming out of his sleep and saying, "Chalo lets make a family movie. Sanjay Dheela Bansala say, "Good idea. Lets get Hritick as your son, Kajol as you daughter and your wife is dead and .....", Dharmender interupts and say, "I want Sunny, Bobby, Esha and Ramu Kaka and my dog Tommy to act in the movie. You decide the story." Sanjay Dheela Bansala "but sir.......", Sunny Deol, "NO IFFFFFFF!!!! NO BUTTTTT !!!! SIRF JATTTTT!!!!"

The END!!!

V...

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Spiderman

We went to watch Spiderman 3 on Saturday night. And I was dressed for the ocassion. I was wearing my web tshirt. He He He He He He He

Sumita and Trupti were all enthu about jumping on the sticky spiderweb in Satyam. You see Spiderman is keeping an eye on me that I am taking the photos like he does.

Trupti giving pappis to Spiderman. And I became Peter Parker for sometime. :-)

There was this huge spiderman cut out in the Satyam parking and everytime I wanted to click a photo the security guy came and said "NO PHOTOS SIR!!!" abe duffer abe idiot, this spiderman is not a celebrity like Hritick Roshan he is just an imaginary superhuman, why are you stopping me?? Buggers man. So I finally took the photo without even listen to the security guy because he was not able to convince me, "OK TELL ME, WHY I SHOULD NOT TAKE PHOTOS?? " And we took hazar photos inside the auditorium.

Well Spiderman 3 is too emotional. Too Many villians. Too many fights. Too many things and too much to make me go back to theater to watch the movie again. And Tobey Maguire weeps like a kid. Come on dude you are a super human. You are god's gift to mankind stop crying like a kid.

To add to everything Satyam was refurnished and remodled like a set of the movie "WAR OF THE WORLDS" I dont know why and who had the weirdest idea but it looks bad. Anyways Spiderman is good for kids. I would watch Spiderman 1 & 2 back to back rather than watching the whole movie. Would watch only the stunts.


Weird UFOs all across the Satyam roof.

Chalo got to sleep now. Zzzzz... When we all sleep he protects us. Ya whatever !!!
V..

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Friday, May 04, 2007

Beautiful View

The best thing about the new office is the view from the 9th floor. It is a magnefercient view from the office window. Work is piling and even the HR lady was asking me this morning,"So you have jumped into work I heard??" Me,"Yes" and ran away. No time boss.

I have a problem though. The freaking AC is right on my head and I might get frost bite very soon. See I dont carry wollens to office and my fingers get numb. Hence the susu break, or water break or post the fotos break. Or I need to buy mittens to work on my seat.

Photo take from my office canteen

Zooom in and you get horrible resolution but yes I can see the sea :-)


We have a TV in our canteen. Super plazme thing. I dont think people might work during cricket matches. One funny thing is that, the canteen guy loves watching animal planet and for some stupid reason the Channel - Animal Planet shows octopus, squid, crabs, and all kinds of reptiles between the time 12.30 to 3.00 PM. You see we have our lunch break at that time and the canteen guy wants us to eat quickly and move on to work. Hence replites on TV when I have food in my mouth. PUKE ARE THERE!!!!


Work is fine. Still trying to know what is what and how do I fit in. My boss is from Singapore, he hasnt joined in yet but is on a tour to meet us. He will be joining in June and is quitting one of the big banks and joining DnB. Reverse brain drain you see. I dont remember who said but one of the education guys like APJ or Narayanmoorty kinds. He said - If we allow people from India to go abroad its not bad. We need to creat enough challenging jobs in India for those guys so that they come back with their knowledge and help in the growth of the country. We have a great example of that guy's words coming true. :-) Feel good factor are there. :-)

Chalo got to go back to barracks.

V..

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

New Company

I shifted to Dun and Bradstreet, Predictive Sciences and Analytics group. Would be working as a consultant on Operational Risk management focused towards BASEL II implementaions in large banks.
I would be working on the development of simutation models and forecast charts, where we guide banks as to how much capital it should have to minimize internal and external risks. The better the simulation models and the analysis, for forecasting risks means that, frauds are detected more easily and the banks will have lesser capital to control operational risk. Sounds cool??? :-) Its challenging and fun. I have done a little work related to simulation models and forecating earlier. :-)
And to celebrate this success we are going to watch Spiderman 3 on saturday night. Yahoooooooooo!!! Chak de fatte!!!
But the funny thing is (and also a good thing) my boss was a professor and the first thing he asked me to do is buy few books and start reading. Good thing about professors is they treat everyone as kids and students. The bad thing is that, they take tests to check wether this guy is focused or not. Heard my boss does so too. Anyways lets see. Got to go back at my seat.
We dont have acces to gmail or any mailing service from our system on the desks. No Gtalk or Yahoo chat. We cannot send mails from Outlook to friends and family only clients, which would be given access by the IT dept. Bloody strict I say.
So if I have to check mails or chat or check orkut I have to come to the library and check mails from the system given in the library. Well in a way its good, no one can see me chatting. he he he he he he he he he he
Ok now I have to run back.
Jai Raam Ji Ki!!!!
V..

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