Thursday, September 30, 2004

i lost around 50 grams

Its been ages since I wrote anything. Well I was in hospital and was also hooked up with this-and-that so, sorry !! Well I had an operation around 15 days back and got my appendicitis removed.
ap·pen·di·ci·tis ( P ) = Inflammation of the vermiform appendix.
[New Latin, from Latin appendix, appendic-, appendage.]
Check this and know more it. No harm to know. What if something like this happens to u? And I always pray to Allah Tala nothing happens to any of my friends. Touchwood!!
There was a major pain in the lower abdomin and I came back home and took rest all day. I always pop in a PudinHara and think its gas or something and it beomes OK in sometime. Thats normal for me. But when the pain didnt subside even in the evening I thought I better go and have a checkup. It came out the be perforation of the appendix. So the operation was to be conducted the next morning.
My cousin brother and bhabhiji also rushed in from Banglore he thought I am going to have a major heart surgery. Anyways it was great that he was around.
The funniest part was when the doctor gave me annestesia. He said " Hey, now tere ko neend aa jayegi aur tum so jana. theek hai ? " I said " I am aleady feeling dizzy................................... " and gone. It was like some one hour of my life got wiped off. I dont remember what happened in that time, remember nothing.
And when I wokeup I had three small small holes in my body. No major cuts and stitches. It was really painful for one day, no pain on the day after. After that bills and bills and bills.
Anyways now this thing can never give me any complcation in the life in future. Because there is no appendix in my body. Na rahega baans na bajegi baansuri.
Well how can I thank my friends? I cant infact. Dipu, Dhiman, Ashwin, Sudip, Priya and many more who were there when I needed them the most. Jaspreet Bhaiya and Bhabhiji ko special thanks.
Well it was a welcome break for me though. But the worst part is when you are alone back home taking rest; there is no one to talk to and at that time you want to talk to everyone.
Stay Fit and Fine everyone. With this..... Adios.


Thursday, September 16, 2004

he loves me / he loves me not

No one has the right to look so beautiful. Glittering eyes and liquid bone structure. What am I saying. How can bones be liquid? I feel like I am swimming in his features. Or are those my senses?
I feel poetry raging in my skull, hammering its way to my soul but the words disappear when he is not there. So am I to be bereft of even the power of recall--helpless in wordlessness?
What of this feeling in the pit of my stomach?
What of this huge wave of despair that threatens to engulf me because soon I will not be able to see the light in his eyes?
My world tilted on its axis and it will never be the same again.
A little less bright; a little more monotonous; a little something gone from my world but not the memory of this moment. And everything connected with it reminds me of him.
The moment that came and went like a hurricane.
I seem to be normal but I know my heart is stunned. I ask "Why me?"
There is no answer and no one can tell me what happened—because this is not supposed to happen.
There is no justice to this. I am forever dumb. I saw, I loved, I despaired, for there never was any hope. And now that he is gone…I am too—in part.
The irony is that I drove him from me. I brought him back and he stayed but he stayed to mock me. The gleam in his eyes that told me he knew. That he was laughing at me. And he stayed to tantalize me…to drive me to a fury of longing…to a point where I no longer cared that he knew what he made me feel. He would come to me when I beckoned. Stay by my side when I wanted. I didn’t have to tell him. He knew.
My senses screamed in revolt because they imagined they were free to feel….but not more than that. So I looked and felt and saw and smelt and heard …….but could not touch. No more than two feet away he would sit—still and secretive--and let me gaze upon him. He knew I needed to look and wonder, all on fire; while he was cold, cold depth of ocean.
And then as simply as that he is gone.
My body shakes with the torment. My stomach roils with the knowledge that he has left in me. My heart weeps in fury, feeling damned.
And all I feel all the time is longing. Pure and simple longing. I close my eyes and see him in mind’s eye. All there--in the flesh. And open them to find him unavailable and unattainable…... forever not mine.
I just made the mistake of falling in love.


Monday, September 06, 2004


Me, Dhiman and Ashwin were to reach Banglore on Saturday early morning but instead were stranded on the outskirts at K.R.Puram station for an hour. Our first impression of the city, "Man there is traffic jam of trains also in Banglore. "
Got down at Banglore Cantt station and took and auto to reach Sudip' place. He stayed in Infosys provided accomodation at some place near Lal Bag Gardens. The Auto-Rickshaws in Banglore thankfully run on meter and we didnt have to do any bargaining and fighting.
Around 12 o 'Clock we went to see the city, and got the real picture. Welcome to the world of bad roads, unruly traffic, potholes, traffic jams, etc etc etc.. But I really liked the weather of Banglore and it was around 25 deg C and was cool.
We went straight to Butun's house at Koramangala. His house is a sexy place and he pays around 15000 as rent per month. We had great lunch with his friends. One was from IIT-D and other from IIT-KGP. (By the way half of my family is from IIT Kgp, am I showing off??)
We sat at Barista at MG Road , thought to be the most happening place in Banglore for about two hours and made a study about the girls. Conclusion - The parents of the girls between the ages 15 to 21 are very poor, less clothes and guys were always paying the bill. I dont know much about parents becoming rich suddenly when their girls suddenly turn 22.
In the evening we went to a pub called Guzzler's Inn, the liquor was cheaper than Madras and the music was awesome. They were also showing F1 qualifying and it was fun to be with friends after a long time.
Then after few shots we came out and were on MG road and Brigade road. Evereything was ncie but I found that something lacking about Bangalore, thats genuineness. Everything looked fake. Pata nahi I thought the thing lacking in the city is "aapna-pan." May be because it has lot of people coming from outside.
Well few hours is not enough time to tell about a city but anyways these are my views.
We slept at Butun's place. He has converted his 3 bedroom house into a dormitory. His place has all type of gizmos, courtsey Ronnie. From laptops to internet provinding Indicom phones to earphones bigger than my computer speakers to a computer which has ever software available on the web and is used as a TV more and a computer less.
Next morning was boring and we were little dukhi that we had to leave friends so soon. Anyways we were again at MG Road for lunch and found as if mela laga hai. there were some billions of people already on the streets on a Sunday. Hai Raab!! Reached Sudip's place and watched Belgian Grand Prix and for a change Michael Schumacher was slower than one person by 3 seconds.
Another good thing about Banglore is that no Set Top Box fundes and u can get as many chanels as you want. I can kill the fat lady called Jaya Lalita for the stupid rule she has made about cable television.
Anyways we took the 9.30 Train in the night and reached Madras in the morning. Was nice and short trip though.


Thursday, September 02, 2004


FRIDAY 10.30 PM 27th August 2004

I and Dhiman are all set to go to Bangalore and wait for auto near our house in Adyar. An autowala comes Dhiman asks for Madras Central the RAJNIKANT LOOKING guy says "SAAR 130 RUPEES", Dhiman is a bastard he replies, "Hey we don't want to come back". I and the autowala are shocked and he knows, they are not going to bend down and moves ahead. Suddenly from out of the blue we hear a noise coming to us at great speed, a thing in the form of auto rickshaw comes and stops near us. We hear, "SAAR WHERE GOING SAAR?" Dhiman with blunt face "Madras Central", Autowala" OK SAAR, COME SAAR 70 RUPEES SAAR" Now its Dhiman's turn to get shocked. We jump into the auto before he changes his mind.

As soon as I enter the auto he gives me no chance to even sit. 1st gear and 20 kms/hr in 2 seconds, I nearly hit my head on the bar.

The Auto guy was crazy and was smiling at us as if the butcher has got his goat to slaughter.

The auto went zoooooommmm past the other things. We over took a bus as if it was standing. The guy was driving the poor machine like crazy, we over took even a Nissan van. He took us through two autos going on the marina beach. Me and Dhiman held to the vehicle as if we were going in it for the first time. The guy smiled back at times and said, HA HA HA DONT WORRY SAAAR!! What do u mean don’t worry u idiot, my parents love me a lot.

His auto moved like a snake at times and I though as if I will throw up.

We jumped out of the auto as soon as it reached Madras Central. Dhiman took out the wallet and as was giving the money as soon as he could, the guy looked at the watch and said, SAAR SEE SAAAR 12 MINUTES ONLY SAAR!! I M GOOD NA SAAR !! Yes indeed you are, u son of a gun-brother of Alan Prost, you nearly made me pee in my pants.

I still think that was the craziest ride I ever had in my life. I want to drive an AutoRickshaw once though. Not professionally.

I was going to Bangalore that night will write about the Bangalore trip pretty soon. I didnt like Banglore a lot, for personal reasons though....


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