What Indian Parents Say...

Indian parents, when going out:

1. They want you to get ready at 7 am even if we are leaving at 12 noon
2. They will start making food for the journey at 5:00 am. As if there are no restaurants or dhabas or train food available. I now have to eat cold paronthe from aluminium foil.
3. Don't talk to strangers in the train.
4. Dad won't use the map and knows all the directions. My dad gets lost on the second left turn.

In general

1. Don't go out in the sun you will become dark. Mom I am brown already can't become darker!
2. Study every evening from 6 to 9 or else you won't get into IIT. If you won't get into IIT, you are a loser in life!
3. Don't leave food in your plate. Eat it! Eat eat eat it! Don't let me get up from my chair. You want thappad?
4. Are our neighbours from Africa? I - Dad he is Michael & works for JP Morgan in Canary Wharf, lived in London for 25 years! Don't teach me you dog, I know he is kaala from Africa, no need to get close to him.
5. If you won't study you will become a builder. I don't want you to be a builder; you must become a doctor or accountant! Go go go to your room and study. I - Dad I like civil engineering I would like to become a builder! Get out of this house. I- Dad I like cooking, would like to do some hotel management & hosputality degree! Out comes the gun! Shoots my ear off!
6. Switch off the TV! Switch it off now! Go Study! Remember IIT...
7. How come you got 85%? How much did Ravi get? 87%. You have brought shame to my family! Out comes the gun, shoots my other ear off!
8. Its cheaper in the other shop
9. When there is a 5 second kissing scene on TV, the parents go - Why are you watching this? What are you learning? Do you want to do this? Do you have a girl friend? Are you virgin? Poor kid - What??? How is the kissing scene on TV related to my virginity?
10. Where is the respect? Show some respect! Why won't you say Sat Sri Akal Uncle ji? Go and say now! Go! Go! Go! Don't let me get up, you want thappad?
11. Give me the TV remote. Only I can change the channel. I am watching it even when I am sleeping!
    
    

Patents love saying to newly wedded couples

1. Beta you must respect her & her family now. "oh I didn't know that, thanks for reminding, as if I curse my folks everyday!"
2. Beta I want to see the grand child before I die. "Mom last month you were 50, you didn't speak about dying; this month you are still 50, why are you talking about dying?"
3. Start saving you will be 3 very soon