Girls and Friendship

I have been on earth for a long time and I am still not able to understand how girls define their relationship with guys. In the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Shah Rukh Khan takes full advantage of this and flirts with one girl and proposes to the other. Well Kajal you didn't define the relationship, now don’t cry, its all your fault.
Kinds of friends girls have. (I am talking about the guy pals the females have)
1. Friend
Well you are like a show piece in my house when ever I need you I will contact you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times I might say "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??" Rahul "Where are you going Shilpa??" Shilpa says "Non of your business" and bangs the phone. Shilpa : Useless fellow. Hmmph.
2. Good Friend
Well you are like a TV remote control, I need you and I know that but I try using you when I really need you. Rahul calls, "Hi Shilpa", Shilpa, "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye" Shilpa calls back after two days. Shilpa : "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?". Rahul : "Generally". Shilpa : "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye." Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
3. Very good friend
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl. She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone. Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her. Shilpa : "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn’t sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn’t like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl". Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??" Shilpa : "My boy friend." Rahul: OK. :-(
4. Best Friend
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. Without you she can't live. And don't be mistaken you are not her boy friend. You are also allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he can do po-po.
Shilpa: "Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul You pay I am having fun". Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares and proposes. Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends Rahul and I have a boy friend you know that." Rahul: WHAT??? Rahul drinks all night.
5. Best of the Bestest Friends
OK now this guy is really special. He is like the dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything. Well ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl now. You take her around. You make her project. You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. You can hold hands on the beach. You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along). But but but dont be mistaken she has a boy friend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 time the salary you earn and has a flat in Poes Garden or Boat Club or Hira Nandani area. Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend". Rahul: Hi Shekhar. (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist) Rahul is heart broken and wrist broken.
6. Boy friend.
Sorry mate you are screwed.

Well This is just a way to make people (especially guys) understand where they stand in relation with a girl. Now if Ashwin is reading this he should also try and make his head clear, what he thinks about his OGFOM (One-good-friend-of-mine).
Cheers.
V...