IPL - changing the face of world cricket

I guess anyone watching the IPL would be thrilled by the number of sixes and fours being hit and the sheer excitement around the whole tournament.

I also love the fact that IPL will change the way cricket will be played, heard, worn, spoken about in the future. In future:

• When a batsman will hit a six, it will be called a "DLF mximum".
• When a catch will be taken, it will be called a "Karbon Kammal Catch".
• When a wicket will fall, it will be called a "Citibank Moment of Success"
• When the sponsors want the crowd to cheer for a team (basically shout), we will hear "Yahoooo" at 2000 decibels
• The man of the match will be called, the "Hero of the Match" because Hero Honda will be the sole sponsor of the MOM trophy.
• Drinks break will be called, "Maxx Mobile timeout".

Wonderful isn't it? I am so thrilled that my children will not know the boring cricket my parents and I knew about; when a "four" was called a four and a "six" was called just a six.

Imagine how exciting football will become if such innovative ideas of IPL would become part and parcel of the Barclays sponsored English Premiership games.

The commentary team would have to say:

• Normal Fouls - That was a Northern Rock sponsored foul by Rooney on Fabregas.
• Severe Fouls that deserve a card - I think Rooney will get a Dulux Paint sponsored Yellow card from the Referee
• Ball goes past the goal post - Oooh, that was a Gillett close shave past the goal post
• At the start of the game - The referee blows the whistle and that is the start of Durex sponsored game
• Good save by the keeper - Excellent Tesco sponsored save by Van der Saar. "Every little saved" helps in the victory!
• Goal - What else can I call it but a Dubai World Hedgefund Moment of Success!
• Half Time - That is the whistle for a Coke break
• Penalty Kick - Looks like Ryan Giggs is stepping up to take the Nike "Just Do It" penalty!

I hope the BCCI gang takes note of this nonsensical brand promotion commentary before it drives me crazy enough to say "I am loving it!".

Also can someone please explain me the reason behind the ridiculous colours of Kochi Tuskers jersey? Were the floodlights not bright enough in Kochi?

Does this mean I am getting old?

I suddenly find myself forgetting things and being absent minded a lot:

1. Leave home at 7:00 to take a 7:18 train (to Liverpool Street) on platform 4, but instead go to platform 2 and sit in the 7:21 train. The 7:21 train is a slow train and the 7:18 one is a fast train.
2. Go to a shop, buy some stuff, take the change and walk out. Forget the stuff at the counter. This has happened twice.
3. I don't always carry a book to read on my train journey and recently got interested in reading one. Forgot it twice on the train, went back and got it. Once this book was in my bag and I thought that I left it back in the train. Went back, checked around the seat and then checked my bag again. Ah here it is. :-)
4. Leave stuff (keys, wallet) somewhere in the house, come back after 5 minutes and have no clue where did I keep it. :-)
5. Once I left home on my bike, reach station and found "oh, I haven't got my keys"; but interestingly I absolutely remembered on this occasion the place where I have left my keys!
6. I have forgotten my phone back home few times.
7. Wife asks me "Do you know where is ........................"; my brain goes absolutely blank.

But on the positive side, I have never forgotten where the TV remote is. "Wink"

I am the man of the house and I control what everyone watches on the TV!

How to have an easy train journey everyday

Make your body accustomed to 3 - 4 deg C during winters

I feel very uncomfortable when the heating is switched "ON" in the train carriage. This winter when we had snow in December and early January, I made my body and my skin accustomed to the warm 3 deg C or 4 deg C temperatures inside the train carriage. Suddenly when I find the heating is switched "ON" in the carriage, I feel like I am in a sauna. I don't want to get all sweaty and sticky when I reach office. I would rather die of frost bite in the train than have the heating switch "ON".

Build relationship with the train drivers

I get very bugged when the train reaches Liverpool Street on time. You see it is a nice 1 hrs 10 minute journey every day from Cambridge to London Liverpool Street. But the driver understands that it is not enough for me to have a nap. And so we finish the journey every day in 1 hr 30 minutes or so. The driver always has reasons to tell to the other passengers

• this train will be delayed as we have dew drops on the track, the tracks are slippery
• the other driver didn't unlock the coupling
• the train doors are locked, please wait inside
• signalling problems
• overrunning weekend engineering works throughout the week
• (because one of my passengers wants to have a long nap)

The train drivers help me take a longer nap on the train journey. But when the train does reach on time, which is once every 2 weeks, my boss asks me "why so early?".

Lose some weight if you want to get in the underground

I generally don’t need to take the underground train in London but if I am working out of Canary Wharf office (which I did a lot last year) I make sure I plan it months in advance. The underground is very crowded every morning (between 8 AM to 9:30 AM) and when I do have to take an underground, I start losing weight months before the journey. This helps me squeeze in the 3-4 inches of space available on the overcrowded carriage on the Northern Line. And yes “mind the gap”.

I can also lose weight by

• Walking up 300 stars - Escalators works on the Bank station will go on till July 2012 and start again in September 2012.
• Walking more on the Bank station - Lifts will not work during peak hours on the Bank station, so please take the longest route, to exit the station.
• Walking a bit more - Take the longest route to reach the Northern line when I reach the King’s Cross station from Cambridge.

Be ready to pay just an extra 6 % every year

Now that I have made my body accustomed to near freezing point temperate in the carriage and to the long train journeys, how about showing some gratitude for the extra comfort? So from 1st of January 2011, I decided to pay 6% more than what I paid the whole of last year. Well they haven’t left me with any choice; I love the journey so much that I want to show my appreciation by paying a little extra every day.

And stop complaining about the weather!

When do I get scared?

When my wide says "hmmm okay do whatever you feel is right!"

I am fine if she says "no you will not" or she says "I think it would be good if you don't do that", but sentences like "hmmm okay do whatever you feel is right" make me very tensed.
Last week I wanted to play a game of hockey and also umpire a match, I knew that would take around 7 to 8 hours of my day, I asked my wife "if she has some other plans in the afternoon? If she didn't have any plans then I wanted to umpire because there weren't many who were ready to go away to St Ives and umpire, so I would have to go."
Her answer was "do whatever you think is right!" I went mental & still went.

Rest you all might understand what was the music when I reached home at 5 PM.

Here is a list of things "what she actually means" when she says:

1. Hmmm do you really want to do that? It actually means "no don't do that"
2. Hmmm if you think so what can I say? It actually means "Do as I say, don't use your brain"
3. Ok so you think this is correct? It actually means "you are wrong"
4. Do whatever you find is right. It actually means "you must not do that, because i don't like it"
5. Hmmm hmmmm hmmm that is fine. It actually means "that is not fine" (the three hmmmms mean NO NO NO)
6. Just think about what you have done. It actually means "you have pissed me off and you are a dead meat now"
7. I am not hungry. It actually means "she's just recalled what you had done 6 months back and although you have apologised for that, there is still scope for few more apologies"
8. She gives you single syllable answers. It actually means "she's just recalled what you had done 6 months back and although you have apologised for that, there is still scope for few more apologies.

CDS

Can someone explain

1. How is Credit Default Swap different than gambling?
2. How is Credit Default Swap different than insurance?

Kashmir's freedom fighter's are India's terrorists?

शाहीदों की मज़ारों पर लगेंगे हर बरस मेले,

वतन पे मिटने वालों का बाकी निशान होगा.

Carnivals will be held on our graves every year,

That's all that will be left of us, when we die for our land.

Kashmir's problem cannot be solved with guns and talks. The Indians, Pakistanis and the whole world knows about it.

India says, "The problem is created by terrorists who have come over the border". But when we see photos of Srinagar, Anantnag, Baramulla & Kupwara on the internet; why do we always see boys between the age of 15 and 25, fighting on the streets with stones in their hands against the Indian Army with guns in their hands? I can hardly believe that it is just a cross border issue. We need to understand "what does a Kashmiri want?"

A Kashmiri doesn't want freedom from India or Pakistan, all he wants is the security to live peacefully in his land and the right to earn his bread. He doesn't want to live in the fear of a terrorist or an army. Kasmhir doesnt want to be with India or Pakistan, Kashmir wants land for all Kashmiris where everyone can live with pride. Where is the pride today?

The Indian army has special rights in Kashmir and can call in anyone for questioning, then interrogate without any report and the special rights to the army allows it to get inside anyone's house without any warrant. How different is the Indian army in Kashmir when compared to the American Army in Iraq and Afghanistan?

How can we have different law for one state in India and a different law for the other state? If Kashmir is part of India shouldn't we have a single law everywhere? Why can't other state origin people buy land in Kashmir? Now when someone protests either they are taken in to custody or are killed or are labeled "terrorists". Terrorists or Freedom Fighters?

I am not against the Indian army, they are just doing their duty. I am against the Indian Government's policies of having different law for Kashmiris and different law for rest of India. I am totally against the law which helps / protects / terrorizes / threatens one specific set of people. The government creates a divide and when a Kashmiri youth, mother or father protests about it, they are labeled Terrorists or Vandals or Anti India Violent Actors.

In the last 2 weeks 75 people have died in the Kashmir valley and if India wants to blame Pakistan for it then shame on India, Indian Government, Kashmir Government and the Indian Army. And calling the kids as terrorists because they were throwing stones at you is disgrace!!!

May be only a revolution in Kashmir can change the way we look at the Kashmiris.

Book Review - Between the Assassinations

This is Arvind Adiga's 2nd book and it is as dark, sorrowful, true & full of imagination as his first book. It is a collection of short stories based in a small town in South West of India; starting in 1984 & with the the last story ending in 1990. Hence the name of the book "Between the Assassinations of Indira Gandhi & Rajiv Gandhi".

The stories have nothing at which someone can smile or laugh at but yes very imaginative. (I like reading happy books). If you come from a very small town in India (which is in one of the "beemaru" (sick) states of India) then you can relate to the plights of the people shown in the book. Few of the things shown with great imaginative power of Adiga are

• How the people of this town struggle to buy a piece of bread everyday but still want to live with pride
• How people from villages come here, sleep on streets, work as bus conductors and pray to become big one day
• How a teacher wishes his student can win a medal from the president of India which he missed
• How a political party worker remains loyal to his party's work for many years and falls in love when he is in his middle age

Few things which Adiga missed and as an Indian reader I would have liked to see in the book are

• The impact of Indira Gandhi's death to the small town
• Impact of the congress victory in 1984 elections
• Impact of The Bofors scandal
• Impact of the rise of terrorism in Punjab & Kashmir
• Impact of the civil war between LTTE and Sri Lankan government. Failure of IPKF.
• Impact of Janta Party's victory in 1989 elections

Yes Adiga does mention few of these in the book, but I was thinking if this book is between 1984 & 1991, then a terrorist would come and hide in this town and would become a driver or gardener of a landlord. Or the political leader of this town would get caught in the Bofors Scandal and that would bring immense pressure on his family.

I mean it lacked that punch but then that is me. You can buy it from Amazon where 2nd hand copies are being sold for as less as £1. (And that is also me!)