Friday, September 19, 2008

You know you are in Chandigarh when.....

Some things which makes Chandigarh a different city. The Chandigarhia thinks he stays in a city which is a mix of New York and London and thinks all other cities near Chandigarh are worthless... The Chandigariyah always keeps his car, dress, hairstyle posh and language crap.... You know you are in Chandigarh when they talk about so many local things that you become out of place.... Khi Khi Khi Khi... Typical Punjabi.... Chandigarh is Chandigarh because..... 
  1. University elections become more important than MLA, MC elections (SOPU, PUSU bruuahh) 
  2. Explaining Gehri to outsiders becomes a tough task (Gehri is nothing but a walk or bike ride around the corner traffic signal and back to check out the girls or just show off your new bike)
  3. 'Uphill' can only be understood by you... (Means Solan & Simla) 
  4. You always have a 'pind' to goto every month (Most of the people in Chandigarh want to show off that they are Desi from heart hence go to their Village every month end to get money from their parents. Most guys in Chandigarh dont work, they just blow the heard earned money of their parents)
  5. Kaimbwala requires no further defining 
  6. You always have a separate budget (after buying a car) for bigger tyres, alloy wheels, stereo, woofer 
  7. Shopping in guys' vocabulary refers to buying daru from Jugnu Ahata and soda, glasses from any confectionery 
  8. Names like Neelam, Nirman, Kiran, Jagat, Batra, Piccadily aren't just names but entertainment centres 
  9. Car-o-bar refers to drinking with glasses on the dickey of the car in sector 8 market late at night 
  10. Paranthe wale are the chefs who come out late at night at sector 16 to make paranthe and chai for late night partygoers 
  11. Abbreviations like GCG, MCM mean a lot without knowing their full forms 
  12. Guys speak in loud Punjabi when a group of girls passes by and girls start speaking in English everytime a group of guys passes by 
  13. The city seems too slow and dead and everyone heads to Delhi 
  14. The traffic cops start the challan drive in the last week of March to end the year in good numbers 
  15. Everyone has a 'massi' in Canada, and a 'bhua' in UK 
  16. Once upon a point Valentine's Day meant tractors on Gehri route and speeds of only 5 km/h
  17. A new year's bash is incompete without a fight 
  18. Any party is incomplete without a fight 
  19. Everyone has some political connection 
  20. Stu C is more popular with non students 
  21. You are proud of being from a particular school and a passive member of its alumni group (YPS, Vivek, Sna, GNPS, Carmel, SJOBA etc.) 
  22. Going to the dog show means checking out the girls more than the dogs 
  23. Owning a Bullet while still in school is an achievement 
  24. Spending upto Rs 2 lacs on number 1 for a car's number plate does not raise any eyebrows 
  25. Kinetic Hondascooter is referred to as Kiney and Bullet bike as Bullt 
  26. You are proud of being a Punjabi 
  27. 'Mallo Malli Khadak Piyan' sticker is found on many cars 
  28. Guys are called by their surnames, (Brar, Sidhu bai, Dhillon) and followed by "Kiven aa, Kidaan!!" 
  29. 22g, 62 is only understood by you 
  30. You are shocked to find out when someone doesn't drink and is a vegetarian 
  31. Many ppl are 'vella' when asked what they do 
  32. Everyone's been to the Rock Garden and hate to show it yet again to family friends/relatives from other cities 
  33. One hand, while driving, is on the 'muchh' and the other on the steering wheel 
  34. Everybody knows everybody 
  35. Every new party place has the same old faces 
  36. A new car, bike etc. first comes to the Gehri route n later to the gurudwara or mandir 
  37. Coke and Pepsi come in small 'Sheeshee' 
  38. Your every sentence has a " Ma Di" or "Bhen Di" 
  39. Anyone and Everyone has had food at "Pal Da Dhaba" and "Giani Da Dhaba (Dharampur)" 
  40. Desi Ahatas are officially called "TAVERNS" 
  41. Everyone has heard the song "Chandigarh kare aashiqui" by B21 
  42. Bikers are challaned even if the pillion rider is not wearing a helmet and girls are allowed to ride without one. 
  43. While in school everyone waits for tuition time to finally talk to the special person (not in a uniform) 
  44. Panchkula and Mohali-ites don't mind being called as Chandigarhians 
  45. Very few ppl know about the Mosque in sector 20 and the Church in sector 18 
  46. Most ppl have been challaned more than once (for speeding mostly) 
  47. ... And most ppl have gone to the district courts in sector 17 to get their challans cleared (as it is cheaper than paying the fine at sector 29 police lines) 
  48. A good lookin car turns more heads than a pretty girl 
  49. English speaking girls are usually referred to as "yankan" or "jhankan" 
  50. The "Gehri-on-foot" (à la sector 35 CCD lane, sector 17) becomes more popular
No Energy to explain everything. 

Catch a Chandigarhiya.... Tullu ko mail karo... Tulllu@gmail.com 


Sunday, September 07, 2008

Indian Reality TV just touched its lowest point !!!

BEFORE YOU WATCH THIS VIDEO:
  1. This video contains language which might not be suited for either home or office viewing.
  2. Please use the ear phones and not speakers if you have children below 12 as your neighbors. Parental guidance and all other guidance might not help you.
  3. Just watch this video once and say "GOD SAVE INDIAN REALITY TV!!!"


I also don't understand what is so great about the Bigg Boss series. There are 12-13 people who themselves are big losers in life. These guys have had a terrible life in the past 3-4 years and you call them to some house and lock them up and try making money out of those TRP ratings. People like Rahul Mahajan? Firstly, whats so great about him that I would like to see his face on TV. Secondly, the guy has lost his dad and is a drug addict and has just come out of a failed marriage. What is he going to say on TV which might inspire me? He is one of the biggest losers on earth !!! May be they can change the name from "Bigg Boss" to "Biggest Looser" or some crap like that !!!  
Then we have people like Monica Bedi. 
Lets compare it with this. "Osama Bin Laden's Girlfriend" comes on TV, then cries and says "I have had a tragic life, I want to gain my respect back. I have come to Bigg Boss house to prove to the world that I am a good lady!!" 
Firstly Monica Bedi should be in the radar of the Bombay Cops, she is the one who can give the cops all the clues and details of: 
  1. How the Underworld of Bombay works? 
  2. How do the people from the Dawood Ibrahim Terrorist Group get their money? 
  3. Are there any links between the Underworld and the Movie Industry?" 
Doesn't the police generally first talk to the immidiate family members when someone gets under the scanner? Normally the cops go to the house of the guy who was arrested and first question the family members. And here in India we have the "So called Girlfriend of an Underworld Don" appearing on Reality TV. WOW !!! What a country !!! 
May be the idea of showing something on TV is just to make money, but shouldn't there be some "Board for Content on TV" like we have the censor board of for movies?? It's not that someone should decide what we want to watch but some people can at least decide what is crap and what is utter nonsense and give a rating !!!
Anyways Happy Reality TV Watching !!! 

Friday, September 05, 2008

Himesh Karo Hum Pe "Karzzzz"... No Music Please !!!

I just listened to the Songs of Karzzzz, dont know who said the greater the number of Zzzzz the better the luck, the better the music, the better movie... All I can say is that Greater the Number of Z greater the Crrrrrrap !!! (see the 5 R) 

मेरी पूरी बैंड बज्ज गई है !!!

And as the poster suggests here, ये इंसान हमसे कुछ बदला जरूर ले रहा है !! The song "एक हसीना थी " पूरा बरबाद कर दिया गया है !!! Himesh's music is bad and if he starts singing he screws the happiness nice and proper !!! Himesh you seriously need people who are your genuine friends, those who don't lie to you !!! 

You Suck Dude !!! You are the MAN !!! 

And who the "Phoonk" wrote the lyrics of the song "Tan Tan Tannaa Tandoori Nights"??!!! May be was watching "The Phoonk" on the toilet when the lyrics were written !!! May be this guy wrote I don't know!!



And seriously telling these were my expresions after listening to the songs !!! 

Troubled !!! 

Found the Bag Full of Crap !!! 

We should all avoid this album !!! 

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Geography is Changing... This is just the begining...

Well it never rains in Madras but it does rain in Nepal and we can see the problem it has caused in Bihar... Its because of global warming that earlier where 100 tons of ice used to melt in Nepal, now we have 300 tons of ice flowing in the Kosi river and it changed it course and with that the face of India's most fertile land too...

Tons of ice was figure of speech...



Anyways that's not the point, the point is what the hell is government doing?

OK we see that Kosi has a problem since past 200 years... The world doesn't have data before that... We know Kosi has been bad for India for past 200 years and we couldn't make even a single dam kind of thing which would help in controlling the anger of this river??? We all know that because of Kosi's floods every year the plains of Bihar get the fertile soil and because of that the farmers of that area give one of the best quality of rice... Sometimes I think that the government of India is full of people who don't have the balls to do anything...

The Indian government says "Because of Nepal we couldn't build the dam and because of that we have the the floods now..." Oye what is Nepal??? a bloody country which is as small as Kerala... Send some troops there and say "If you want to be neighbors to India you have to act like this... Enough of non sense"...


I feel even the other leaders of the world have shown the back to the global warming issue and are least bothered about what is going to happen in few decades from now... They are least bothered... Ok so now the polar ice is gone... North Pole is now an Island, happy guys?? Great Work !!! Congrats dude!!!

And look at this lady... Ah Ah Ah... So sweet so cute...


Looks like she is really sad about the global warming issue... Yeah right !!! She is again not bothered about anything... She is only bothered about "How can I make Buddhadev Bhattacharjee look bad in his group of party member???"

Ahhh YES, Let me ask the Tata Plant to be shifted out of Singur...Let me change the geography of the state which wants to have some progress now...

Why Tata was good for Bengal... few points:
  1. It would have helped in bringing in employment to the people around that area... Not just Singur but around 50-60 kms from Singur...
  2. Everyone was a farmer there, Bengal is one of the most densely populated states of India and hence the small farm lands would have become even smaller in few years from now... The earning power per person would have done down day by day...Hence the plantw as good, as it still guaranteed a good income to the people working in the Tata Car Plant...
  3. Tata would give job opportunities to 25000 people in and around the plant where ancillaries would open up...
  4. The need for electricity would go up, government of Bengal would push the government of India to go through the Nuclear Deal and may be a nuclear power plant would open up in Bengal... More job opportunities... May be 2 earning members in one family... (Nuclear Deal is good for India because USA wants it badly!! Thats a different ball game!!!)
  5. Looking at how well Tata was treated in the state , more companies would come and set up plants there...
CHANGE IN GEOGRAPHY !!! Dear Mamta Bitch-erjee no country progressed by doing political rallies !!! Keep that in Mind...

Why don't I give you my Shoe on your face instead??? Eh???

And last but not the least, why the heck cant we solve the Kashmir Issue???
Is there not a single leader in India with an Iron fist who would walk up to these nonsensical Extremist leaders of Kashmir and say "You have a choice stop this political rally or forget your life forever"
India has been trying to be polite to the Kashmiris Extremists since past 60 years... What did we gain? I guess more murders, more terrorist attacks, more rallies... We need to deal with Kashmir with an iron fist !!! That is the only solution... Ask a normal Kashmiri he would love to work and be part of the progress India has seen since past 15 years... Stop the rallies guys, it never helps... You and you earlier generation haven't brought any change in kashmir since 1947 with the bloody rallies... Look at other states... they are progressing, you also be part of the progress...

And if Pakistan says we need to discuss Kashmir, India should say "We can discuss Sind , Balochistan, West Punjab and North West Frontier Province too, how about that??"

I am just fed up of the chaos all around the world...

Arn't you???

Monday, August 11, 2008

Bindraaaaa !!! You Genius !!! You Gem !!! You are Awesome !!!

Finally we see no controversy, no cricket, no nonsense, just good and happy news on the news websites...
Pure genius of Bindra in Shooting, brings sports on the top of all news channels...
Thank You Bindra !! Thank you sooo much !!!




Awesome Bindra With the Medal !!!


Awesome Bindra With the Silver and Bronze Medalists !!!


Awesome Bindra Standing tall !!!

Bindraaaaaaa !!! Bindraaaaaa !!! Clap !!! Clap !!! Clap !!!
Bindraaaaaaa !!! Bindraaaaaa !!! Clap !!! Clap !!! Clap !!!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

First there is Rajnikant !!!

Then there is a fat guy with a bad hairstyle, who is making some weird world record !!! Then if given a chance there is GOD !!!



Rajnikant is God !!!This looks good only on Rajni... No one else would look even 1% decent in this place. Apadiyaaaaaaa ???!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha !!!


Fat guy with bad hair does amazing stunt!!! 15 years of perfection and 21.7 seconds of glory !!! Fat guy, you rock !!! Dude everything is fine but dont you think, you need a good shower, a decent hair cut and better shoes??

Saturday, July 12, 2008

New Computer

New Kampootar... Wah wah wah...

250 Gig... 3 Gig Ram... Windows Vista... DVD Writer... Webcam.. Remote Control..

Basically my brother bought... And we are going to create a server in the house and start a software company...

Chota Bhai took Photo... No the Iron didnt come free with it... we have the computer in the ironing table right now...

Side View...

Dell teh Dill Aaaya !!!

Guess what am I doing on it? Watching a movie obviously. Anyways was never going to write software programs. Vista Looks cool though...

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