Hello.....

I called up my credit card guys few days back and it was pain in the wrong place.

Me : 28888881

Voice from the other side: Welcome to Standard Chartered Bank. To continue in English Press 1. To continue in Hindi press 2. To continue in Tamil press 3. To continue in Japanese press 4. To continue in Spanish press 5. To continue in Hebrew press 6. To talk to our executive press 7. To listen to the menu again press8.

Me smart me thought let me just talk to the executive and tell him what is my problem. I press7.

Voice: Please dial you TPIN number.

I dint know what is a freaking TPIN number so I just thopught let me wait, I didnt dial anything.

Voice: Sorry that was a wrong entry.

I didnt even dial anything. Buggers Man!!!!

Voice: To continue in English Press 1. To continue in Hindi press 2. To continue in Tamil press 3. To continue in Japanese press 4. To continue in Spanish press 5. To continue in Hebrew press 6. To talk to our executive press 7. To listen to the menu again press 8.

I press 1. 5 minutes over already. I havent even talked to anyone. I havent even told the credit card guys whats my problem.

Voice: For credit card enquiry press1. For bank enquiry press 2. For housing loan enquiry press 3. For car loan enquiry press 4. For personal loan enquiry press 5. For ATM location press 6. To talk to our executive press 7. To listen to the menu again press 8.

I am still calm. I press 1 for credit card enquiry.

Voice: Please dial your 16 digit credit card number.

ME : 1345-5629-0987-9854

Voice : Please dial your date of birthdate for verification.

Confused me. Shall I dial month first or date first??? I am super irritated and its been like 8 to 10 minutes and I havent even told these guys what is my problem and I havent even got the option to tell them the problem. Super pained I am.

Voice: That was an invalid entry. You card has been blocked.

Phew!!!!

I had called the Standard Chartered guys to tell them that I was not using the card and I wanted to return it to them.

Man if cancelling the card was so much pain in the wrong place then why do they keep calling now an again and tell "Sir do you want a credit card???"

Pain man super pain.


Well picture this. We got Tata Sky direct to home connection. They gave a freaking number which we can dial to activate and get the installation done. Now the freaking number is some 1900-56789-098766 this can be called only and only from a BSNL and MTNL landline phone only. I have a Airtel Landline and my and my wife's cellphones have a Hutch connection.

So I go to a local booth and call.

Me: 1900-56789-098766

Voice: Hello this is Hritick Roshan. आब आप देख सकते हैं World Cup Finals मेरे साथ. Tata Sky खरीदिये पन्द्रह April से पहले.

Holy cow they asked Hritick Roshan to do this shit??? Like he is so without work that he is doing all this crap voice over and all for a cable TV provider???

Voice Continues: To activate your Tata SKy connection Press 1। To talk to out customer care executive Press 2.

I Simply press 2.

Voice: Hello this is Ganesh how can I help you?

Me: Hi Ganesh I got this new Tata Sky connection yesterday and I want to activate it and get the installation done.

Tata Sky Executive: Sir this is new connection?

I got so pissed. Why dont people listen to what they are supposed to listen? I try to be calm and talk back again.

Me: Ganesh this is new connection. I got it yesterday.

Tata Sky Executive: Sir have you registered?

Me: Ganesh I got this thing yesterday and I am calling to activate it and register it and all that.

Tata Sky Executive: Ok sir so you are new customer and I have to give you the customer ID and register your name and address. Sir, what is your name?

Me : Bhavdeep Singh

Tata Sky Executive: What sir?? Bharti Singh??

Me: No. Its Bhavdeep Singh.

Toot Toot Toot!!!!

I look at the guy who is sitting at the phone booth.

Phone Booth guy : Sir, if you call from a local booth to a 1900 number it will get cut in 4 miniutes. You should call from a home phone to a 1900 number. Then it wont get cut.

Me: WHAT??????????????? WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME????

Phone Booth guy : Sir you never asked me before dialing the number. How should I know??? Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh !!!!! Bloody fools. Everyone. First Tata Sky people are buggers. I just dont see or heard anything and just dial again.

Me: 1900-56789-098766

Voice: Hello this is Hritick Roshan. आब आप देख सकते हैं World Cup Finals मेरे साथ. Tata Sky खरीदिये पन्द्रह April से पहले.

I wanted to kill the guy who gave the idea of putting Hritick Roshan's voice. Voice Continues: To activate your Tata Sky connection Press 1. To talk to out customer care executive Press 2.
I Simply press 2.

Voice: Hello this is Shankar how can I help you?

Me: Shankar I got a new Tata Sky connection yesterday and I have tried calling you guys just now can you connect me to Ganesh? The thing is I am calling from a phone booth because Tata Sky has given me a 1900 number and I have to call it from BSNL number. I want to regiuster my name and address.

Tata Sky Executive: Ok I will try doing it fast for you.

Atta BOY!!!

ME: My address is......... Toot toot toot !!!!

Freaking me. I talked too much and hence I was not able to tell that guy what is my address.

So after calling some 5 times. And the phone getting cut 5 times. I was finally able to tell them my address and got the activation code and customer ID code and all that. But I got major pissed at these idiots. The funda is BSNL is owned by Tata and the DTH which I was trying to configure is also owned by the same company. Freaking Arse!!!!

Anyways I thing these guys should also have some email or internet booking thing. It would be really helpful.

Pissed and pained. Bye!!!!

V...